Muggle Magic
by cozyintherocket
Summary: There's no end to complaining when James and Sirius can perform little more magic than Muggles with sticks. But with help from an increasingly affectionate Muggleborn, the prank to save them all is still underway.


**Muggle Magic**  
Chapter One

Needles of ice clinked against the windows, escalating to a rattling attack whenever the wind surged. James Potter ignored the winter storm and brooded at the flames that licked recklessly close to his feet on the hearth.

"Setting our tootsies aflame, then, are we?" Sirius Black mused as he dropped beside James and settled himself identically. "Bad choice, mate, rather slow and painful - "

"McGonagall hates us," said James, for once not playing off his best friend's joke. His face seemed weary when illuminated by the brightly crackling fire.

"Nah, remember that time she laughed at Mrs. Norris, looking like a giant puffskein after we caught hold of her? She sort of…her mouth… It twitched, don't you think?" Sirius paused, looking troubled. "Oh, I suppose she hates us." He appeared to have lost some of his luster as well. The pair sighed morosely.

"Come off it, you two," chided a quiet voice that was nonetheless laced with amusement. Remus Lupin strode into the Gryffindor common room, his hair still sparkling with ice crystals and beads of water.

"Where've you been?" Sirius asked without turning his head.

"Professor Flitwick asked me to help take down Christmas decorations," said Remus, unraveling his woolen scarf as he eased into an armchair.

"Nobody asked us to help," James muttered. "Because we're Muggles."

"Nobody asked you to help because last year Snape was stalked by a sniggering Christmas tree."

"It followed him into the loo," James whispered to Sirius, whose bark of laughter put some color into both their faces.

"And you're surprised your punishment's only a month…or two…three?" Remus mocked lightheartedly. His face had disappeared behind a book, but the boys seemed accustomed to speaking to the covers of dusty tomes.

James and Sirius moaned, their spirits draining away once more. They trudged away from the fire and slumped into chairs across from their friend.

"Sorry, what was your offense?" Remus asked absently. A cracked, ancient page protested as he flipped it.

"Minnie got it into her darling head that pulling pranks is, er, a 'blatant disregard for the responsibility of magic.' She threw that in our faces a couple times, and then after a few more pranks - which you so courteously declined to join - she took _'further action,'_" said Sirius. He rubbed his left arm, still feeling Professor McGonagall's pincers as she hurled them into her office and confiscated wands for the first time.

"Well, she has a point, doesn't she?" Remus looked pointedly at James. "Head Boy?"

"No, she doesn't," James retorted. "We haven't tossed hexes around since the beginning of sixth year. And I'm doing my job. But pranks, they're essential to society. Everyone needs a laugh, especially us Seventh Years." He did not need to mention the threat of N.E.W.T.s drawing upon them, nor the far heavier darkness of the war that the Marauders had decided to join. Remus set his book down and the three looked at each other grimly.

"Professor McGonagall isn't worried about you two needing the practice?"

"She lets us our wands in class. I reckon she knows we don't need extra practice," said Sirius. "And she said with good behavior we'd get them back sooner."

"That's all fine and good for N.E.W.T.s, but what about after Hogwarts? She's sending out two of the most brilliant candidates for the Order without enough wand practice?"

"Moony, we're touched." Sirius put a hand to his heart, but Remus remained grave.

"McGonagall's never been keen on letting anyone join the Order straight out of school," James reminded. "Worries, I s'pose." He and Sirius traded twin glances, admitting the same thing: she didn't hate them.

"Consult Dumbledore, then," Remus implored. The dark circles under his eyes from the last full moon became more prominent with his concern for his best friends.

"We did, actually. He said he's confident in our preparation for the Order, and McGonagall's punishment won't change that. And then he said this could be good for us, something like…?" Sirius nudged James.

"'One can never have enough opportunities to gain as a person,'" James quoted. At Remus's unconvinced, drawn expression, he added, "You come off it, Moony. Trust Dumbledore. If we don't trust who we can, we're all going to end up alone or - or dead." His voice was firm.

"That settles it," boomed Sirius, breaking the mood as he clapped James proudly on the back. "We're ready for the Order, we're ready for N.E.W.T.s. So what say we wallow in our wandless misery? Or start in on personal gain and whatnot."

"How can Hogwarts live without the Marauders for so long?" said James. He clapped a fist to his heart. Remus chuckled, but his smile soon dropped as he saw Sirius's hand whip toward him.

"Sirius!" he yelped, throwing his body over Sirius's quarry: his wand. His elbow managed to stamp on the wood before Sirius had full possession.

"It's for the greater good!" Sirius yelled back. Then, deciding not to scuffle with someone who could do magic, he retreated.

"No use, Padfoot," said James. "McGonagall's got a Trace on us. _Us_, not our houses or the whole Gryffindor common room. Doesn't matter whose wand you nick."

"I know, just thought I'd drag Moony down with us." Sirius grinned. "Moony, will you help us pull a prank?"

"No."

"For the greater good!"

"You do know that's carved over Nurmengard."

"Blimey, I was just asking you to make a few laughs." Sirius frowned. "You used to be fun."

"I am fun," Remus said with a mischievous smile. "But you're not cheating your way out of Dumbledore's lessons. Trust him, remember?"

"Prongs," grumbled Sirius, aiming a kick at James beside him.

"We can do it without Moony," defended James as he rubbed his leg. "I think - "

"James, we have to discuss new patrol routes. There's this ridiculous rumor going around about the lower corridors at night, and nobody - "

"Evans! Lily!" James sprang from his chair and grabbed the shoulders of the redhead who had climbed in through the portrait hole.

"James," repeated Lily, her bright green eyes searching his suspiciously.

"Lily, my darling partner, my favorite Muggleborn" - Lily raised her eyebrows - "and dear friend. Will you help me and Sirius pull a prank of epic Muggle proportions?" James smiled sweetly. She had a moment's surprise lying open on her face before she tried to reply.

"No, Prongs, first you have to ask her if she'll help us with magic."

"Lily, will you - "

"No!" she said forcefully, although the stern effect was ruined by the escape of her tinkling giggle. "This is about losing your manhood, isn't it?"

"Merlin, if you put it like that!" James spluttered as Sirius and Remus roared with laughter. "I - my manhood is very much intact, if you'd like to see," he said as he regained composure. Lily giggled again despite the lewd suggestion; she and the Marauders had gotten along quite smoothly since midway through sixth year, and their relationship had only improved once James had become Head Boy and hadn't shirked his responsibility. He was still a rebel and prankster, an unconventional Head Boy without a doubt, but he was not as arrogant and not at all crude.

"I was only joking," she reassured, shrugging his hands from her shoulders.

"No to the magical prank, how about the Muggle one?"

"No again, James."

"Ah, but…" James paused, his fingers searching through air. "But, will you help us…discover…the…the wonders of a Muggle lifestyle?"

"Sure," said Lily with another chuckle.

"What? Really?" James's hands dropped to his sides. Sirius and Remus seemed no more believing.

"Yeah, but I'm not teaching you about dynamite or anything," she warned, instantly observing a sheen of confusion cloud their shocked stares. "And, well, someone's got to take pity on your manhood, James," she teased.

James gaped as she turned away. He watched her stroll back toward the portrait hole, then rounded on the guffawing Sirius with a swift kick to match the one he'd received.

"It's your manhood, too," grumbled James before his hazel eyes lightened considerably. "...She's never had so much interest in my manhood."

"It's mine, too," Sirius tacked on merrily.

"No, it's not," James corrected, but all three wore easy smiles as they settled back into the cushy chairs.

* * *

Author's Note: Please read and review, it means a lot to me. And check out my other story if you so desire :) thanks!


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